• Matilda Reyes


There's this great post by a woman named Christine Miserandino that discusses how people with chronic illnesses have to make choices that healthy people do not. She explained it by using spoons as a measurable quantity of energy. The more spoons you have, the more you can do. Think of it as mana or energy slots, if that's easier to wrap your mind around.

Anyway, the idea goes like this: Each day, we start with a specific number of spoons. This represents our energy or ability to get through the day. For every basic activity that healthy people take for granted, it depletes our Mana a million times faster and we lose a spoon. A healthy person might say the first thing they do when they wake up is to shower and get dressed. No spoons in this example are used. A chronically I'll or disabled person has to break it down even further. Sitting up and crawling out of bed is one spoon. Brushing our teeth and taking care of basic needs might be another. Showering might take two if you're washing your hair. And so on...by the end of the day, we're likely out of spoons and that means cooking dinner, washing dishes, or even watching a movie might be too much to handle. It's exhausting just talking about it.

You should read the story because my explanation pales in comparison. Check it out here.

I've never hidden the fact that I am disabled from nearly ten invisible illnesses. You can't see it, but I'm engaged in a minute-by-minute basis with my body, which incidentally actively trying to kill me. My defense is the nineteen medications (not pills- I mean prescriptions) I take each day, rest, and pacing myself so I don't use up my spoons.

What does this have to do with writing? I've been beating myself up because I can only write a few words a day on Vespers book four. I don't have the mental energy to get through a chapter. I'm busy on other projects, including Daughters of Night and my side gig which is more of a full-time project these days. Those two feel more pressing to me because I'm accountable to someone else. So by the time I get to my own work, I'm plum out of spoons.

So writers, be kind to yourselves this month. Sometimes you just don't have the spoons and that's okay.

Alright, back to d*ck and fart jokes.